Thursday, November 26, 2009

Let's Talk about Halloween

The first point I need to make for those of you who only know me through these words is -- I'm not sexy.

I'm not.

I'm a thirty-six year old mother of two, who stays home to take care of them, and who loves comfy clothes oh-so-much more than fashion. Really. Right now I'm wearing sweat pants a t-shirt, knee socks (they're so warm), and a sweater. Yes, I live in Florida, and yes, I get cold easy. I wear slip on sneakers when I leave the house, both because they're comfy and because I'm way too clumsy to try heels or anything fancier. Three hundred and sixty-four days of the year I dress like this. With some variations of course. In the summer I wear no socks and flip flops. Have flip flops ever been sexy? Anywhere?

I didn't think so.

If you think I'm working my way up to defending (late, I know) the women (and me) who wear the Halloween "slut costumes" you would be right. I left sexy so far behind so many years ago that being sexy is my costume! I might be a pirate or Marie Antoinette or a twenties era gangster (I'm aiming for that next year) while I'm being sexy (because, let's face it, they're all sexier than I am), but really those identifiable genres are just a bonus.

Sexy is the costume.

I just went into the kitchen to collect the cup of tea I made earlier and, while I was there, ate a spoonful of bacon bits. They were surprisingly tasty.

I can easily understand people's interest understand the interest in these costumes. Maybe not so much for those skinny young people, but then again, when I was skinny and young, I didn't think I was skinny. I was pretty sure I was young, but back then it wasn't a bonus. And, except for a brief period of leather and a splurge on thigh high boots after a break up so many years ago it's hard to remember, I've never made being sexy a daily goal. With all sympathy due my husband, I still don't.

I'm not a make-up wearer and I don't have it in me to learn now. I'm happy with my comfortable clothes and the fact that I can do five minutes from under covers to out the door.

Once a year (and the rare date night) I put sexy first.

I can't give excuses for all the women who wear so little for this holiday. Each person has their own reasons for everything. (But really, if shoulder armor and chain mail bikinis defend against all those monsters in fantasy art, maybe cleavage is the best defense against the creepy crawlies that are supposed to be out on All Hallows Eve!)

I'll be the first to admit that there are certainly some women may be working on one-upping a neighbor or friend, or other sad, petty excuse for dressing up, but I know I'm not the only one for whom being sexy is a treat.

Don't judge us.

You can do it too.

I know all the costumes in the shops are all bare-skin sexy, but that's just because it's easy. You can be sexy no matter what shape you have. It just takes more inventiveness. Alright, that year I was nine months pregnant for Halloween it was harder. (I was a pregnant cheerleader with the belly in full view over the low skirt and under the short vest. Fun, if not sexy.) The worst was when I had the one month old baby though. I can't even remember that year, I was so exhausted.

But anyone can do it. Start putting some thought into it now. Decide on something. Think of how to make it sexy with your body shape. Then consider the parts you need and keep an eye out during all the shopping trips between now and then. I need a fedora and Tommy gun. (I'm willing to live with a mock Tommy gun.) And some fabric that matches the fedora. I'll sew the rest. I already have the pattern. If only I thought I might find an admiral hat. I love those epaulets.

Everyone should feel sexy at least one day a year.

What will you do?

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving.

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