Thursday, October 29, 2009

Excessive Randomness

Today for random writing, I am going to write a random amount of randomness on a random topic that caught my attention for no particular (random) reason. Random!

I'd been reading Basket Case by Carl Hiaasen and I came to a line saying "...I would give my right testicle to see a "Slut Puppy" reference in 40-point type...." You can possibly see why this caught my attention, where I immediately started wondering - is it always the right testicle? (That's what caught your attention too, right? Right?) Or do men bargain out either one depending on whether the word right or left sounds better in the sentence. And then I began to wonder what would happen if the events they bargained left and right for both happened at the same time? Really, sticking with one side seems like it would be safer.

But then again, as a bargaining chip, whose mind is a testicle bargain going to change. You know, I really love that chair and it's worth way more than $100, but for $100 and the right testicle? Hmm, that's a thinker. No, not this time, but, man, if he'd only offered the left I'd have had to take it.

Are the different sides worth more or less than each other?

And really, as a body part that stays hidden away most of the time, how important is just one? More important, I'd suppose, when the bearer wanted to have children, but is it necessary even then? It seems like it would be a big deal mostly because of the big deal make over their packages? They come as a set! You can't break apart a set!

I know, way too much thought on one tiny line. I don't even know why it caught my attention, but I can't seem to stop running circles around it.

I've never heard of a woman offering her right breast for something. (Or even saying in the form of I'd give my ... which isn't really an offer, I suppose). Does that mean we value our parts more? Or just that we're terrified some psycho will come along to take us up on that offer?

Well, I think that added more than enough ick-factor. Have a great Thursday.

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